Of course you do.
Well I have a secret, a deep dark secret. A secret that occasionally keeps me awake at night and makes me question various decisions that I make.
That secret is: I am new to blogging and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I think I have a case of Blogger’s Block.
There I said it. I admitted the one thing that I probably shouldn’t.
When I started making videos on YouTube and blogging on my website all I had was an idea, an idea and very little else. I had watched other people’s videos and read other people’s blog posts and thought: I want a piece of that.
Not fame. Not recognition, not even necessarily monetary gain (although money is always nice). What I wanted was to be creative, to have a hobby, something I enjoyed doing that ticked all the right boxes. If I could travel whilst doing it and maybe make money from it, then heck, I wanted a little piece of that too.
Truth is, it’s hard.
Now please don’t get me wrong here. I am not moaning about what I do, I love it. I enjoy the creative freedom I have, the learning, the development, seeing the end product and remembering each individual step along the way. What is hard, is feeling like you are getting nowhere. Feeling like no one is hearing what you are saying, your advice and tips are falling on deaf ears. Or no ears at all. I had this crazy idea that I wanted to help someone feel less nervous about going away, get excited, perhaps even see little snapshots of what was to come and feel that rush of adrenaline and anticipation about what might be.
But that’s not happening because quite frankly I don’t know what I am doing. Sure I can film videos and I’ve learned how to edit them, but I don’t know how to upload them to give viewers the best quality video to watch. I don’t know the megapixels and the frame rate and all that jazz that is most compatible with YouTube’s’ compression malarkey, fitzbang wobblecock, Martha Stewart (see its just words; jargon). Occasionally I can take a really good photo on my camera but half the time I’m adjusting the settings, just hoping that this particular combination will be THE one. I am stumbling in a technological world of darkness, hoping that in time I might just put my hand upon the light switch.
Learning is fun. Being Creative is fun. Feeling like what you are doing is a waste of time because it will never reach an audience, is not.
There are so many fantastic bloggers/vloggers out there, who I take my hat off too (well I would if I hadn’t forgotten it in Melbourne), who are creating some really useful literature/videos for others to learn from. I often find myself wondering, “Did they ever have this thought, that all the time and effort they are putting in, is essentially pointless?” The conclusion I have now come to is yes. I would bet that they too had moments where they wanted to jack it in and just remove their work from the Internet entirely. Everyone starts somewhere right? These people didn’t get writing work, company affiliation and contracts overnight. They worked hard and kept on honing their craft, doing what they love and eventually someone recognised that what they do is actually pretty damn good.
I wonder how many bloggers fall by the wayside, despite actually being very good at what they do. What is the length of time that you should give yourself before realizing that it isn’t going to work and calling it quits?
So when I’m having my moments of doubt about what I am doing, I remember that. Rome wasn’t built in a day and website building, photography, creative writing, research journalism and video editing certainly wasn’t learnt in a week. Ever. By anyone.
For now, I will plug away and hope that this bloggers block dissipates, that I can rise from the murky depths of blogging despair. Pray that I can get back into the swing of things and start to create some useful content that will be recognised, by someone, somewhere, someday.
So don’t get disheartened. If blogging, writing and creating is what you love, keep right on at it.
Blog on, bloggers! x
Creative unicorn ninja; Travel vlogger/blogger. Green tea enthusiast and lover of dance and art. Currently be found back in England planning the next adventure! Southeast Asia Odyssey coming very soon!
Where I can be found: UK